Why She Stays...
This is the number one question most people want to understand. The question, however, should be ''Why does he batter?'' The question why does she stay places the blame on the victim. The reality is that the majority of battered women make heroic efforts at leaving, but because of the following reasons, most are unsuccessful
Fear: The number one reason for not leaving is fear. According to the FBI, up to 40% of female homicides in any given year occur when the woman decides to leave the abusive relationship. Her fears are not unfounded!
Lack of Resources: Since one of the major components of abuse is isolation, the battered woman most often lacks a support system.
Lack of Finances/Economic Reality: The economic reality for women (particularly those with children'' is a bleak one. This is especially true for women who have not worked outside the home. Economic dependence on the abuser is a very real reason for remaining in the relationship.
Children: Being a single parent is a strenuous experience under the best of circumstances, and for most battered women, conditions are far from the best
Feelings of Guilt: The woman may believe that her husband is ''sick'' and/or needs her help; the idea of leaving can thus produce feelings of guilt.
Promises of Reform: As is consistent with the cycle of violence, the abuser promises it will never happen again; the victim wants to believe this is true.
Sex-Role Conditioning: Most women are still taught to be passive and dependent on men
Religious Beliefs and Values: Religious beliefs reinforce the commitment to marriage. Many faiths hold that the husband is head of the family and it is a wife's duty to be submissive to him.
Societal Acceptance /Reinforcement of Violence to Women/Wives: Many people turn a ''deaf ear'' to marital violence and believe what goes on behind closed doors is a ''private matter.''
Love for Spouse: Most people enter a relationship for love, and that emotion does not simply disappear easily or in the face of difficulty. After a battering, the abuser often is extremely penitent.
Battered Woman's Syndrome: Battered Woman's Syndrome has become a legal defence for battered women who have killed their abuser.
1. the traumatic effects of victimization
2. learned helplessness
3. self-destructive behaviors as a coping response to violence,
such as drug/alcohol abuse, and minimization/denial
4. repeated cycles of abuse
The battered woman, having been systematically abused by her partner, perceives that there is no way out of the relationship. She believes that if she says, he will eventually kill her and that if she leaves, he will find her and kill her. She feels trapped and helpless. Believing there are no options to escape the abuse, she may kill him.
(for the complete text, see...)
Why She Stays...
http://www.actabuse.com/whyshestays.html
Have you ever known anyone in this situation? What was the outcome?
What are your thoughts on what you just read? Let us know!
By Glen Canyon Vista N'hood Assoc.
This is the number one question most people want to understand. The question, however, should be ''Why does he batter?'' The question why does she stay places the blame on the victim. The reality is that the majority of battered women make heroic efforts at leaving, but because of the following reasons, most are unsuccessful
Fear: The number one reason for not leaving is fear. According to the FBI, up to 40% of female homicides in any given year occur when the woman decides to leave the abusive relationship. Her fears are not unfounded!
Lack of Resources: Since one of the major components of abuse is isolation, the battered woman most often lacks a support system.
Lack of Finances/Economic Reality: The economic reality for women (particularly those with children'' is a bleak one. This is especially true for women who have not worked outside the home. Economic dependence on the abuser is a very real reason for remaining in the relationship.
Children: Being a single parent is a strenuous experience under the best of circumstances, and for most battered women, conditions are far from the best
Feelings of Guilt: The woman may believe that her husband is ''sick'' and/or needs her help; the idea of leaving can thus produce feelings of guilt.
Promises of Reform: As is consistent with the cycle of violence, the abuser promises it will never happen again; the victim wants to believe this is true.
Sex-Role Conditioning: Most women are still taught to be passive and dependent on men
Religious Beliefs and Values: Religious beliefs reinforce the commitment to marriage. Many faiths hold that the husband is head of the family and it is a wife's duty to be submissive to him.
Societal Acceptance /Reinforcement of Violence to Women/Wives: Many people turn a ''deaf ear'' to marital violence and believe what goes on behind closed doors is a ''private matter.''
Love for Spouse: Most people enter a relationship for love, and that emotion does not simply disappear easily or in the face of difficulty. After a battering, the abuser often is extremely penitent.
Battered Woman's Syndrome: Battered Woman's Syndrome has become a legal defence for battered women who have killed their abuser.
1. the traumatic effects of victimization
2. learned helplessness
3. self-destructive behaviors as a coping response to violence,
such as drug/alcohol abuse, and minimization/denial
4. repeated cycles of abuse
The battered woman, having been systematically abused by her partner, perceives that there is no way out of the relationship. She believes that if she says, he will eventually kill her and that if she leaves, he will find her and kill her. She feels trapped and helpless. Believing there are no options to escape the abuse, she may kill him.
(for the complete text, see...)
Why She Stays...
http://www.actabuse.com/whyshestays.html
Have you ever known anyone in this situation? What was the outcome?
What are your thoughts on what you just read? Let us know!
By Glen Canyon Vista N'hood Assoc.
