Augusta Bulldogs Blockwatch

Love Doesnt Have to Hurt - Domestic Violence Info

Expressions

I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night and he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.

I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and
started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.

I know he must be sorry,
because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today, and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.

If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.

But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.

If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him I would not have gotten flowers today.

``Author Unknown``


STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TODAY!!!!
DO NOT TOLERATE IT!!!!!


For a listing of local women's battered shelters contact your local police dept, city government or look in your yellow pages under "sheltered care homes"

Flowers

Domestic Violence Hotlines & Hotlinks UPdated 01/07/02

WARNING: This page may not be appropriate for all audiences. The content may be sexually graphic or violent.

Our posting these sites does not indicate any endorsements of products or webpages.


"HELPING OTHERS IS THE RENT YOU PAY
FOR YOUR ROOM HERE ON THIS EARTH"
~ unknown ~


National Runaway And Suicide Hotline
1-800-621-4000

National Hope Line Network
1-800-Suicide
1-800-784-2433
Toll-Free in the U.S.
24 hours / 7 days

Suicide Hotline
1-800-444-9999

The Trevor Line at the Suicide Prevention Center
(800) 850-8078

The Family Violence Prevention Fund
www.fvpf.org
or call
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)

RAINN
Unlock the Silence
1-800-656-HOPE (4613)
24 Hr Confidential Rape Hotline

RAVN
P.O. Box 2508
Richmond, VA 23218
email: info@antiviolence.org
RAVN - Resources for Anti-Violence Networks
http://www.antiviolence.org/sys-tmpl/door/

see "Protecting Your Privacy" links...


A

9-1-1 for Women
http://www.feminist.org/911/1_supprt.html

AABL: Advocates for Abused and Battered Lesbians
http://www.aabl.org/

Email: ACT@USAComputers.net
ACT: Abuse Counseling and Treatment, Inc.
http://www.actabuse.com/dvindex.html

Welcome to ACT's Random Acts of Kindness Page
http://www.actabuse.com/RAOK.html

ACT's Sexual Assault Site Index Overview
http://www.actabuse.com/rapeindex.html

ALLIE'S SURVIVORS PLACE
http://www.angelfire.com/ab/Allie1stPlace/index.html

American Self-Defense Institute
http://www.americanselfdefense.com/

American Women's Self-DefenseAssociation
http://www.awsda.org/

Arizona, Tucson
"Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence: A Resource".
Phone 520-881-7201. This place is supposed to be fairly well-known locally.

AZ Attorney General
http://www.attorney_general.state.az.us/

ACERCA DE LA PROCURADUR??A GENERAL DE ARIZONA
http://www.attorney_general.state.az.us/indexsp.html

AZ Attorney General's Office - Informational Guide on Domestic Violence
http://www.attorney_general.state.az.us/dviolence.pdf

Augusta Bulldogs Pages: Protecting Your Privacy
http://www.neighborhoodlink.com/public/genpage.html?nid=988631997&nneighid=402048063&nsupercity=559970528


B

C

AZ ARIZONA (800) 330-1822
Child Abuse Resources
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/ca.htm

A Community Checklist: Important Steps to End Violence Against Women
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/speeches/cheklist.htm

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services
http://www.connsacs.org/library.html

The Criminalization of Domestic Violence: Promises and Limits
http://www.ncjrs.org/txtfiles/crimdom.txt

Cybergrrl Safety Net
http://www.cybergrrl.com/fs.jhtml?/views/dv/


D

D2's Tips N Links
http://www.geocities.com/computerpursuits/

D2's Tips - Online Safety - Should You Hide in Cyberspace?
http://www.geocities.com/computerpursuits/coverstorys.html#Cover Story

Domestic Violence & The GLBT Community
http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Stonewall/9890/

Domestic Violence Handbook - Table of Contents
http://www.domesticviolence.org/content.html

Domestic Violence Hotlines
http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html

"Working to Prevent Family Violence"
The Domestic Violence & Incest Resource Centre (DVIRC)
http://home.vicnet.net.au/~dvirc/

Domestic Violence Prevention
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Hills/1825/page52.html

"Do you know you are being watched every time you surf the Internet? Find out who is watching you. Protect your privacy."
Welcome to the IDcide Website
http://www.idcide.com/


E

Effects of Domestic Abuse on Children
http://www.actabuse.com/effectschildren.html

Elder Abuse Victims
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/ea.htm

"The Empower Program is a non-profit educational organization in the Washington, DC area dedicated to empowering all people to understand their power and role in preventing gender-based violence. The site includes information about their programs and staff, including a section on self-defense."
The Empower Program
http://www.empowered.org/


F

Feminist Majority Foundation Online
http://www.feminist.org/default.asp#ARI

Footprints and Fingerprints in Cyberspace: The Trail You Leave Behind
http://www.onlineinc.com/onlinemag/JulOL97/dern7.html


G

Gentle Touch's Web: Survivors, Abuse, Incest, Rape, Laws, SRA, DID/MPD, PTSD, Child Rights, Family Secrets
http://www.gentletouchsweb.com/

Crisis Line : 1 800 832 1901
Welcome to GMDV: Gay Men's Domestic Violenc Project
http://www.gmdvp.org/


H

Healthy Living ~ Suicide Prevention
http://www.neighborhoodlink.com/public/genpage.html?nid=364709299&nneighid=402048063&nsupercity=559970528

Helping Someone Who's Being Abused
http://www.actabuse.com/helping.html

"You might feel intimidated by the police or the legal system. The law is there to protect you, but you might need support in knowing how to use it."
How Can the Law Help Me?
http://home.vicnet.net.au/~girlsown/legal.htm


I

If You Are Hurting...
http://www.actabuse.com/Hurting.html

If You Have Been Raped
http://www.actabuse.com/Rape.html

I Got Flowers Today: a poem about domestic violence
http://www.angelfire.com/ns/hollysplace/flowers.html

"A Victim's Right to Speak...
A Nation's Responsibility to listen..."
IMPACT Statements
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/is.htm

INTERNET WARNING!: HOW AN ABUSER CAN DISCOVER YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITIES
http://www.actabuse.com/warning.html


J


K

Kathy's Resources on Parenting, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Trauma & Dissociation
http://www.mcs.net/~kathyw/kathome.html

Kids as Victims
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/kav.htm


L

Love is...Love is not...
http://www.angelfire.com/ns/hollysplace/luvis.html

Love Shouldn't Hurt
http://www.actabuse.com/shouldn'thurt.html


M

MailCleaner Home Page
http://www.mailcleaner.com/

A Man's Home is His Castle
http://members.aol.com/AngelRings/castle.html

THESE TWO GO TOGETHER
~ Little Cowboys Cry ~
http://members.aol.com/AngelRings/i2.htm

Marital Rape
http://www.actabuse.com/maritalrape.html


N

This site gives a lot of good information on domestic violence, stalkers and sex offenders. Includes a great virtual library on these subjects.
National Center for Victims of Crime
http://www.nvc.org/

National Domestic Violence Hotline
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/newhotline.htm

The National Victim Center: Helpful Information for Stalking Victims
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/stalk/info44.htm

The National Victim Center: Stalking
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/stalk/info43.htm

New Numbers For Domestic Violence Victims And Others
http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/10093.html

Portions of the proceeds from the sale of goods and services from NICHOLE's benefits frontline organizations struggling to provide shelter and long-term therapy for domestic abuse victims and their families.
Nichole's Virtual Shop
http://www.ebizfinders.com/

The problems that exist in our nation are not just about drug abuse and crime. They stem from lack of family unity, communication, forgiveness, and an understanding that we are all created equally, problems or not. The solutions begin in your very own homes and communities. If we learn to love and respect one another for who we are, then the rest will fall into place and the problems will begin to heal naturally.
If you, your child or someone else you know has a problem with substance abuse, depression, mental illness, physical, mental, or sexual abuse; or the everyday stressors that life can bring, I urge you to enter our site.
NRG: Nevada Recovery Guide
http://www.nevadarecoveryguide.com/

The New York City Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Project
240 West 35th Street
New York, NY 10001
(212) 714-1184 (phone)
(212) 714-1141 (24hours)
(212) 714-1134 (TTY)
The New York City Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence Organization
http://www.avp.org/


O


P

for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, see...
Healthy Living ~ Mental Health Matters!
http://www.neighborhoodlink.com/public/genpage.html?nid=181589319&nneighid=402048063&nsupercity=559970528


Q


R

Rainbow Hope is a support group for lesbian survivors of abuse.
Welcome to Rainbow Hope
http://www.geocities.com/rainbowhope2000/

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
RAINN
http://www.rainn.org/

RAINN Counseling Centers by State
http://www.rainn.org/counseling.html

RAPE CRISIS SYNDROME - thrive@health
http://www.thriveonline.com/health/Library/illsymp/ill
ness447.html

Rape Recovery Help and Information Page
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2402/

Rape Survivors
http://www.actabuse.com/rapesurvivors.html

RAVN
P.O. Box 2508
Richmond, VA 23218
email: info@antiviolence.org
RAVN - Resources for Anti-Violence Networks
http://www.antiviolence.org/sys-tmpl/door/

Resource Center on Abuse
http://adoptionworld.org//abuseopen.html

Rights of Rape Victims
http://www.actabuse.com/raperights.html


S

"Stop Abuse For Everyone is a non-profit organization that provides advocacy, information, and support for men and women who are the victims and perpetrators of domestic violence. We set up and advocate for services for men and women, straight, gay, or lesbian, with the vision of a world of powerful, supportive relationships, free of violence. SAFE concentrates on domestic violence against straight men, gay men, and lesbian women, because few services exist for these groups."
E-mail: jade@dgp.utoronto.ca
SAFE: Stop Abuse For Everyone
http://www.safe4all.org/

Safety Net
http://www.cybergrrl.com/views/dv/

A Safety Plan for You and Your Children
http://www.actabuse.com/safeplan.html

"Produced by a domestic violence activist, this site is a collection of links, and information specific to New York state, as well as many articles about domestic violence -- how to stop it, the connection with alcohol, statistics and advice for comminity response. There is also a handbook for victims and helpers that includes safety planning and risk assessment, available services, a reading list and information on domestic violence. "
The Safety Zone
http://www.serve.com/zone/

SecurityFocus
http://www.securityfocus.com/

SEXUAL ASSAULT & RAPE CRISIS RESOURCE LIST
http://www.feminist.org/911/resources.html

People do recover, every single day. From alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness, abuse and trauma, eating disorders and more, people do get better. They rarely do it alone. If help is what you seek, we hope you'll find it here...
Sober Recovery
http://soberrecovery.com/

the voice for all victims of crime and the people who serve them:
Balancing the Scales advocates on behalf of all victims and witnesses of
crime establishes a communication network, enhances public awareness,
facilitates research and evaluation, serves as technical support, facilitates quality training, educates and coordinates policy development, encourages citizen and victim participation.
South Carolina Victim Assistance Network
http://www.scvan.org/

The South Carolina Victim Assistance Standards and Certification Board
http://www.sc-certification.org/

Sexual Abuse Defined
http://www.geocities.com/~guardianangels/defined.html

Stalking Victims Sanctuary
http://www.stalkingvictims.com/

State Coalitions on Domestic Violence
http://www.feminist.org/911/crisis.html#state

"Sergeant Anne O'Dell (Retired) is a twenty year veteran of the San Diego Police Dept., who now trains nationally and internationally on Domestic Violence and related issues. Find conference information, specifics on the types of training that Sergeant O'Dell offers, and conference information on this Web site. "
Stop Domestic Violence!
http://www.stopdv.com/index2.htm

The Survivors
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/7864/survive.html

Warning: This page may not be appropriate for all audiences. The content may be sexually graphic or violent.
"This colorful, award-winning page designed to be a comfort and outlet for survivors of sexual abuse and rape is a good place to network. It includes a list of related organizations as well as interactive chat rooms, a writing, letters and poetry section, e-mail lists and a posting area. It has a section on Real Audio clips with survivors' stories."
The Survivors Page
http://www.stardate.bc.ca/survivors/


T


U

Understanding Violence Against Women with Disabilities
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/7319/womanmain.htm#understand

U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs:HELP FOR VICTIMS
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/welcome.html


V

"Victims Fighting Back is a non-profit organization that conducts legal advocacy for victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse. The site contains general information on legal remedies for victims and sexual abuse/domestic violence as well as information on current state legislation the group is lobbying for"
Victims Fighting Back
http://www.townonline.koz.com/servlet/visit_ProcServ/DBPAGE=cge&GID=04001010230925316694892828

Victims No More
http://www.angelfire.com/ns/hollysplace/vnm.html

Violence Against Women:Mediated List of Internet Resources
http://www.feminist.org/gateway/vs_exec2.html

The Violence Against Women Office
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/about.htm

Violence Against Women Office - Recent Facts
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/rfs.htm


W

Violence Is the #1 Health Problem for Women
WAVE - Women Against a Violent Environment
P.O. Box 15650
Rochester, NY 14615-0650
716-234-9709
Email: wave@mooreresults.com
WAVE - Women Against a Violent Environment
http://mooreresults.com/WAVE/

What should I do if I am sexually assaulted?
http://www.rainn.org/whattodo.html

What to Expect from Law Enforcement
http://www.actabuse.com/lawenforce.html

"Being in love is supposed to feel great. But sometimes it just feels confusing. What can you do if you are being hurt, controlled or
treated badly in a relationship?"
When Love Hurts:a guide for girls on love, respect and abuse in relationships
http://home.vicnet.net.au/~girlsown/

When the Survivor is Male
http://www.actabuse.com/malerape.html

Women For Women International: Humanitarian Relief for Survivors of Crisis
http://www.womenforwomen.org

Women's Self Defense & Rape Prevention
http://members.aol.com/BlackBeltL/selfdefense.html

Why She Stays...
http://www.actabuse.com/whyshestays.html

Women of Color and Domestic Abuse
http://www.actabuse.com/womenofcolor.html

"Women's Self-Defense Alliance - Did you know?:
One out of every three women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
85% of rapists are known to their victims. Rape offenders come from all socio-economic groups. In Stopping Rape: Successful Survival Strategies sociologist Pauline Bart reported that women who were most successful in avoiding rape were those who had studied self-defense. The self-defense trained group in her study had learned to be aware of danger and respond to it earlier than those who had not been taught to anticipate their own responses to dangerous situations. According to a study conducted by the Denver General Hospital Crime Prevention Unit, women were able to escape weaponless attackers over 85% of the time if they yelled to attract attention and resisted. Women who did neither rarely escaped. "
Women's Self-Defense Alliance
http://www.connsacs.org/library/wsda.html

Women's Self Defense & Rape Prevention
http://members.aol.com/BlackBeltL/selfdefense.html

Women with Disabilities and Development - FACT SHEET
http://www.pcs.mb.ca/~ccd/womefact.html



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Verbal Abuse Webring
http://www.angelfire.com/mi/doolies/Abuse.html


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Helping Someone Whos Being Abused

If you know someone who is being abused, it is often difficult to know the best way to be of help. Every situation is as different as the persons involved. There is some information; however, that will provide guidelines for helping you see your options as well as knowing what is best for both you and the person being abused.

If you are saying to yourself "why does he/she stay" or "how could he/she put up with it?", it will be helpful to read this.

Ways you can help


Educate Yourself

You will most likely become frustrated unless you understand the dynamics of domestic violence. The pages listed in the domestic violence index give helpful information about the patterns of abuse, characteristics of abused women, examples of verbal, emotional, and financial abuse. You will not be able to help a battered person unless you are well informed.


Listen to her

Let her know that you care and are willing to listen without trying to extract information she is not ready or willing to share. Take her concerns, feelings, and fears seriously; never discount or minimize them. Never blame her for the situation; help her to realize that everyone is accountable for their own actions and that nothing she may have said or done deserves or excuses abuse of any kind. Battering is never an appropriate response to any situation.


Let her make her own decisions

It is empowering to know that someone trusts your judgement and believes in your ability to find solutions to the problem. Trust her to make the right choices for herself. Tell her you respect her courage and her determination.


Encourage and help her develop a safety plan

Agree with her concerns for her safety as well as that of her children. Offer your assistance in developing a plan that may even include you. Help her look ahead to a plan of action should the abuser become violent again. Suggest that she have an "escape bag" somewhere which might include an extra set of car keys, ID documents, birth certificates, insurance cards, etc. in case she needs them. (ACT has a detailed checklist-type safety plan available. It is too extensive for the web page, but if you e-mail us an address, we will be happy to mail one to anyone who requests one.

Email: ACT@USAComputers.net
ACT: Abuse Counseling and Treatment, Inc.

Encourage her to break the isolation

One of the most effective "tools" for abusers is the isolation from family, friends, co-workers, church friends, or any type of support system. Assist her in finding a agency like ACT that offers counseling and support groups free of charge to the victim. Make her aware of how isolated she is.

Encourage her to take threats seriously

Express your concern for her safety and never minimize threats made by the abuser. Remember, however, that the most dangerous time for a victim is when they decide to leave.

Approximately 40% of all female homicides that occur in our country in any given year happen when a woman decides to leave. Respect her judgement as to the right time to leave. Leaving such a situation is a process, and the time must be right.

Be there for her - but BE CAREFUL
If you make promises, make sure you are able to follow through with them. Think carefully about what you are willing and able to do to help. If you are able to make offers of assistance, do so.

If you decide you are unable to provide help in the form that the woman needs, encourage her to find a local shelter where her safety will be assured. Depending on the severity of the battering and violence, directly housing the victim may jeopardize the safety of you and your family. The intention here is not to frighten anyone, but simply an awareness of the reality of the far-reaching consequences of such violent behavior.

Shelters are designed specifically to house those in danger and have safety procedures in place for such incidents should they occur. They are also staffed with caring, knowledgeable, well-trained persons who have the best interests of the victim in mind. For information on shelters in your area, you may call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

The fact that you are reading this page indicates that you are a concerned friend, acquaintance, or family member of an abused person. Abuse Counseling and Treatment recognizes the importances of a good support system for victims of domestic violence and thanks you for your interest and willingness to help end abuse in the life of one person.

Helping Someone Who's Being Aused

Email us
augustabulldogs1@netscape.net