Denver Association of Family Child Care

Teaching Good Bedtime Habits

Feb 01, 2001

Sleeping seems simple enough. You either do it or you don't. But it's a little more complicated than that. To help children
develop good bedtime habits, it helps to understand more about sleep.
Sleep can be separated into two distinct patterns. Non-REM sleep is a quiet, dreamless sleep that restores and refreshes us for a day of energetic activity. People often refer to this as a "deep" sleep. When one is awakened from a deep sleep by an
unexpected sound, it often is difficult to think clearly for a few seconds. In children, this confusion probably is one source of sleep problems such as sleepwalking.
Dreams happen during the other pattern of sleep called REM. During REM sleep, the eyes move under the lids. The sleeper lies very still and the breathing and heart rate become irregular. Although the brain is awake and sending messages to our arms and legs, the messages aren't getting through and so we are motionless.
Adult sleepers spend about 25% of their slumber in REM sleep, infants about 80%. The difference in sleep patterns make
children more likely to have nightmares than adults.
Until babies are about three months old, they go into REM sleep first. This may be important to brain development. A young child passes very quickly through REM sleep into deeper non-REM slumber. A child who has fallen into non-REM sleep in the car, for example, can be carried into the house, dressed in pajamas and put to bed without ever waking. Likewise, a baby who has been rocked to sleep may wake if he is put down before he has reached the non-REM state. If the child is put down after eye movement no longer occurs behind the lids, it is almost certain the child will continue to sleep.
The sleep problem that most worries parents is bedtime. Children need to know they have been born into a world that will care for them and their needs. It's important to respond to a baby's crying with attention and comfort. Helping the baby develop reasonable schedules for eating and sleeping are VERY important. It's up to the parent to see that the routine of baby's day, which includes bathing, feeding, napping and other activities, remain as close to the same as possible.
Even preschoolers need a consistent routine set and monitored by an adult. Children whose routines are changeable are likely to have sleep problems, which may result in problems with eating, taking naps and even sociability. Whatever hour the parent chooses for bedtime, it should be followed as closely as possible every night. The parent who often gives in to pleas to delay bedtime, takes away a part of the predictable environment children need to feel safe.
Bedtime plans for toddlers and preschoolers may include:
A quiet hour. This is not the time for rough play, tickling or stimulating television shows. A warm bath with quiet talk about the events of the day, followed by a story, quiet game or snuggling while music plays softly will create the peace that makes falling to sleep easier.
Countdown to bedtime. Give advance warning of bedtime about 30 minutes before the bedtime routine will begin. Ten minutes before the bedtime routine begins, announce that it is time for the child to finish whatever he is doing.
Accompany the child through the bedtime ritual. This decreases the possibility that the child will feel his parent is trying to get rid of him for the evening. It emphasizes that the parent means business. It also promotes the attitude that bedtime is nice, comforting and full of loving parental attention.
Most children want to hold a "transitional object" such as a stuffed animal or blanket. These objects help children deal with separation anxiety about leaving the active world and entering the world of sleep. Talk about something happy. Start to describe the thought or story and then say, "Now you finish the rest in your mind while you fall asleep. Happy dreams." Leave the room! No matter what the child says or does, leave the room. If they start to complain or start to cry, tell them you'll be back to check on them in five minutes. Be calm, be firm and don't give in. By the end of a week, parents usually will see some amazing results.