OK, actually, it's me. I'm that neighbor. "What a loser!" "Can't they SEE all those weeds?" "Are they going to ever fix that broken lamppost?" "What is wrong with them?"

Well, lets begin:

My husband works 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week, his job demands it. There's no going around it. He is frequently occupied w/ work on the computer during his home time, about 10-14 hours over the weekend.

Our second child is 3 & mildly autistic & cannot be left unattended for even a moment! I am perpetually amazed at what she get into in such a short period of time. What that means is that if I'm outside, I have to take her with. But if my attention strays for even a moment, say to weed the flowerbeds (which I would LOVE to do, I love my flowers!!) she's GONE!!! She doesn't understand that she needs to stay with mommy. She doesn't understand enough to help out. Our lot is such that it cannot be fenced without violating local ordinances.

The 2nd summer we lived here, I developed a tumor in my uterus that made me bleed profusely, leaving me anemic, weak & on bedrest. The following summer, after surgery & recooperation, I got pregnant & was hypersensitive to the heat.

We hired a well-known company to weed & mulch who saiod they would come w/in 2 weeks & didn't show for 2 months!! No matter how many times we called to complain, we were told it would be just a couple days. Well, I'm not going to pay someone $2000 to weed & then have to do it myself!! We received a complaint from the city 2 days after they finally came & cleaned up the yard.

Look at all these excuses!! Did I mention we have a giant dog who's really aggressive w/ anyone outside the family?

Or that my son has ADD & frequently forgets that its his job to clean up after the dog. And NO, HE won't learn if I do it for him!

Oh, there is so much more, there always is, isn't there? I KNOW IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO MAINTAIN MY YARD!!! I'm only saying that things come up. You know the phrase! And sometimes several things rear their ugly heads all at once.

Now that my yard is relatively cleaned up, I see 1 or 2 houses here & there through the neighborhood that look like maybe they've had some things "come up", too. My experience keeps my indignation to a minimum & I wonder how they are in there. Sometimes I'm tempted to knock on the door & offer to pitch in.

I'm NOT saying that you should clean up your neighbor's yard, you shouldn't have to. Maybe ask yourself a few questions. Is the neighbor a widower or widowed? What is their work schedule like? Their health? Their kids' health? Do they have family/friends here in town? Just what is their situation?

Maybe, if I have a little extra time, I'll make myself available to help out a neighbor.

Hi! I have a son with ADHD and would love to get together with you! The same son was also diagnosed at about 2 1/2 with sensory issues and other things that sound a lot like your daughter. It is soo hard to get anything done when you are alone with these kids. I totally get it! If you would like to ban together to reach out to the neighbors, let me know. My youngest is in am kindergarten so I can help with your daughter and we can tackle some things together. I think you are right that people don't think about what other people are going thru. I know there are several people in my section that have lost thier jobs. The last thing they are going to spend money on is anything for the outside of the house. Just reach out and let us know how we can help. It may not be much but it may be child care if you need it or job leads. That's what neighbors do for each other.

Cathy

I am SO sorry it has taken me FOREVER to reply!! I would love to get together so we can help each other out & so our kids can play together!! My daughter is now in PM preschool Tues- Fri, so AMs and weekends are good for play & PMs I'm available to help out! my email is monkeymom@rrohio.com. Please feel free to contact me, even if it's a year or two before you see this response!! :)

Mary Mitchell