I only assume you are hurt because your tone is so defensive. I think it's good that you are willing to help the HOA. But if you are helping them pursue non-worthwhile goals, then your help is actually detrimental to the neighborhood as a whole.
I'm glad you feel that your kids are safe. There are other neighborhoods in the area that are safe, and yet they have pursued common area projects that far exceed our own, even though they are most likely working with a similar budget (based on median home value and # of residents).
You and I have different ideas of what it means to "engage in dialogue". You seem to get really upset, throw insults around, cuss a lot, and in general avoid looking at solutions but instead focus on defending bad ideas.
It looks like we may not disagree on what we would like to see done in the common areas. However, you state that we should help the HOA pursue their current goals. I think those goals should be abandoned or reversed, and replaced by more productive ones.