“There is a calm and powerful center in each of us and in each of our children. It’s a place that existed even before you were born: some would say before you were conceived. Some books and schools of psychology or self-help refer to touching or stepping into this place as ‘centering’. Others talk about ‘finding your bliss’, or touching nirvana, Samadhi, enlightenment, or satori.
An interesting way to model it is to imagine that there was a time when all your needs were met and you were perfectly happy, floating in mom’s amniotic fluid. Life was good, Then you were born, and suddenly life wasn’t so good: you stomach told you it was hungry, your butt said it was chafed, your skin was too cold or too warm, and on and on.
In response to these needs, you developed new behaviors. Crying was one of the first, although it was accompanied by waving arms and legs, shaking, kicking, and the other physical motions. As you grew and learned to manipulate you physical environment, you began to pull, push, crawl, walk and eventually talk as ways to express your needs.
Every time a new need arose, a new part of your mind was activated as a resource to meet the need. One part took responsibility for getting the diapers changed, another for getting fed, another for getting hugs from Mom, and so on.
As you went through life, then, thousands of parts split off and took an independent responsibility to handle particular crises, needs, desires, and problems. Very often these parts were momentary loci of focused energy and attention, and when they were finished with their job they simply dissolved back into the totality of the ‘center’ which is you.
Others were responsible for ongoing and lifelong needs, such as the need to be fed or the need for affection or the need to protect the body or personality. They took on relatively independent lives of their own.
This may sound like I’m saying that we all suffer from multiple personality disorder (MPD), but if you think about it for a moment you’ll realize that it’s just a description of how we are, adults and kids. Everyone has different ‘parts’ that they show to different people and used in different circumstances.
The part you or your child brings to the fore when you’re having a fight is very different from the part in charge when you’re falling in love (at least if you’re like most people), and both are quite different from the part that takes charge when you’re applying for a job, dealing with a teacher, or fighting for something you believe in.
We all have these various parts which we can move to the front when needed. The difference between this and MPD is that in MPD each part takes over completely, blocking out awareness of other parts. In a normal person, no matter which part is in the fore these is still an overall awareness of continuous identify.
So, we and our children have these various parts which have coalesced and emerged over the years, learned, skills that now take responsibility for handling certain parts of our lives.
The goal of each of these parts is to return you or your child to that calm center you once knew intimately very early in life. No matter what the function may be – nourishment, defense, affection, aggression, or anything else – the goal of that function is to return you to a whole centered state.
Another way to say this is that the goal of each of these parts is to share in consciousness.
While they may also serve to maintain and protect certain parts and functions their ultimate goal is to partake in a slice of the life of the human being. To touch consciousness.”
Page 68 from “Healing ADD” by Thom Hartmann.