NAP- Neighborhood Alliance of Pawtucket

CYBERBULLYING: One Family's Story

May 04, 2006

April 28, 2006 -- A Kentucky mother struggles to help her family feel safe again after her daughter receives a racist, threatening e-mail at school.

by Dana Williams

The morning of March 13 will long be remembered by the Wood family of Henderson, Ky., as the moment everything changed.

That was the day the youngest of the family's four daughters received a racist, threatening message in her student e-mail account at Henderson County North Middle School.

The message, which appeared to have been sent from a computer at nearby Henderson County High School, was peppered with racial slurs, references to the KKK and threats of violence against the 12-year-old seventh-grader and her older sisters.

"All I got to say is that you better watch every move you make NIGGER and you can tell all of your older sister(s) the KKK will be after them (too) BITCH," one line of the e-mail read.

"We couldn't believe it," said Carla Wood, the girl's mother. "I thought, 'Oh my God. Who would say something like that to a child?'"

Even harder to believe, Wood said, was the school's initial handling of the incident. Even though a teacher was promptly notified about the e-mail, Wood said no one from the school called to inform her that her daughter had received a threatening message. She didn't learn about the e-mail until that evening, when her daughter showed her a copy of the message.

"My daughter sat at that school all day -- afraid," Wood said, her voice cracking. "No one thought to call her parents about what happened to her. Nobody hugged her; nobody asked, 'Are you OK?'"

Wood said when she arrived at the school the next day to discuss the incident with school officials, the principal hadn't yet been told about the e-mail.

Wood claims even after the principal was made aware of the incident, several days passed before any real action was taken. Additionally, Wood said school officials told her she could not contact the police until the school completed its own investigation.

A Common Problem
Though more serious than most cases, what happened to Wood's daughter is not uncommon in today's middle and high schools, where cell phones, e-mail, instant messages and Internet blogs and chatrooms often are used to degrade, harass and threaten students.

The practice is called cyberbullying, and while prevalent, many parents and schools know little about how to prevent and respond to it.

According to a 2005 Clemson University study, about one in five of 3,700 middle school reported they had been cyberbullied in the past two months.

"Cyberbullying is an issue of concern that is growing exponentially," said Nancy Willard, cyberbullying expert and executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use. "I think adults, parents and teachers included, aren't paying attention to what young people are doing online."

Willard said adults often are lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to young people's online activities.

"There is a very damaging false sense of security that the installation of filtering software has addressed the dangers and loose use of the Internet," she said. "That really isn't the case."

Willard added that for many schools, a lack of clarity about free speech sometimes causes confusion over what school officials can and can't do. Many administrators simply do not understand the steps they can and should take to address the problem of cyberbullying and cyberthreats in their schools.

In the case of the Kentucky incident, Willard said school officials should have taken these steps to respond to the threatening e-mail:

Make sure the e-mail or other evidence has been saved.

Evaluate the message for degree and severity of threat. Any imminent threat, as was the case in the Kentucky incident, should not only trigger a call to parents, but a call to police.

Take immediate steps to investigate who sent the e-mail or posted the material, keeping in mind that cyberbullies often use anonymous screen names or impersonate someone else when harassing other students.
All schools, Willard said, need to have policies and procedures in place for responding to incidents of cyberbullying, especially in cases that involve threats or that create a hostile environment.
'Can I Just Disappear?'
Henderson County school officials admitted investigating the exact origin of the threatening e-mail took a lot of time. Additionally, the school did not have specific policies in place to address cyberbullying or cyberthreats.

"Any time any words, whether they be verbal or written or, confirmed by a third party, would injure a student -- that is a very, very serious problem, and we will deal with it," Superintendent Thomas Richey told The (Henderson, Ky.) Gleaner.

More than two weeks after the threatening e-mail was sent, two 15-year-olds were arrested and charged with three counts each of terroristic threatening and unlawful access to a computer.

That, however, provided little comfort to the Wood family for whom the damage had already been done.

"My daughter is in counseling now," Wood said. "She doesn't like school anymore. She is afraid to walk home by herself. She has asked, 'Can I just disappear?"

One of Wood's older daughters said the incident has hurt the family.

"It's changed my sister forever. It's made me feel like I need to check my surroundings more, like I keep looking over my shoulder," she said. "I just want whoever did this to know what they did was wrong."

Wood said she hopes the school has learned from this experience and wants the school to adopt policies that will guide future responses to such incidents.

Her family, however, probably won't be around to see that happen. They plan to move to another state after the end of the school year.

"I feel like my daughter's innocence was stripped away. The school did not give me a chance to protect her and I don't feel that it's a safe place for my children," Wood said. "It's just not worth it to put your kids through that kind of emotional stress."

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Q&A: 'Schools Should Take This Seriously'
Web Exclusive!

by Camille Jackson

As Internet use among young people increases, so does the risk of cyberbullying. News reports from the Midwest tied one boy's suicide to unrelenting attacks from an online bully.

In early April, a cyberbully posted pictures, lewd comments and pornographic images of a California high school student on MySpace.com, a popular social networking site. The student was reportedly afraid to go back to school.

And last month, a Kentucky mother complained to local news outlets when her 11-year-old daughter received a racist, threatening e-mail at school.

In many such cases, school districts fail or are slow to respond.

The stories are all too familiar to Nancy Willard, executive director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use in Eugene, Ore. Willard is an Internet-savvy attorney who has worked with at-risk children. She also is working with MySpace.com to develop online "rules" for users. Her recent book, Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats, Responding to the Challenges of Online Social Cruelty, Threats and Distress, offers solutions for children, parents, teachers and school districts.

Willard spoke recently with Tolerance.org.

Question: What is the appropriate way for school administrators to respond to cyberbullying?

Answer: According to the legal standard, they should determine if there is a substantial and material disruption, or threat of disruption, in the school's work or in the right of the student to be secure. [And they should:]

Save the evidence.

Clearly identify the offender because online impersonation occurs. It's critical that steps be taken to clearly know the identity of the offender.

Conduct a search of online activities through the school's Internet system because their ability to respond, and their obligation is significantly higher if the cyberbully uses the districts' system. Under Title VII under the Civil Rights Act, if the school has noticed that the online activities have created a hostile environment grounded in race and religion, they must address this issue.
[Also,] the school district has to respond in a very proactive manner or else the student can file a lawsuit against the school. ... In many cases, I do not think schools monitor their Internet systems enough.
I think prompt response is called for. Taking a long time offers more ground for a complaint to be filed with the civil rights division of the U.S. Department of Education.


Q: What is the difference between cyberbullying and cyberthreats?

A: There is an overlap. A whole bunch of cyberbullying activities may include threats. Cyberthreats can be more generalized and can show that the child is under considerable distress.


Q: When should the police be called?

A: Call the police if there are any threats of violence, activities that could be characterized as a hate crime, stalking behavior, any kind of sexual exploitation or dissemination of sexual images, extortion or coercion. These incidents also could provide the basis for civil litigation on behalf of the child who has been targeted.

There are three civil law claims: defamation, invasion of personal privacy and intentional infliction of emotional distress. Some states also have a statute that allows people who have been victimized in a hate crime to file a lawsuit for damages.

... The damages are limited so it's hard to get an attorney to take the case, but sometimes these kinds of cases are helpful for getting the point across.


Q: How can students, parents or teachers lobby school administrators and school districts to get cyberbullying policies instituted?

A: Districts need to take cyberbullying seriously because they can be held liable if it's occurring in their system. Even if it's occurring outside the school, it is impacting their students and the quality of the school's environment and has the potential to lead to school failure, avoidance, violence and suicide. There's been at least one school-based murder and pretty significant attack because of cyberbullying. The target retaliated at school. One happened in Japan and the other in the Midwest.


Q: How do you know if and when your child needs counseling because of a cyberbully?

A: I think it's really important not to use the word "victim." Instead, I say "target." It is critically important for targets of cyberbullies to empower themselves with the knowledge and skills to deal with these situations. Too often we treat them like victims. We can help empower them by teaching them the full array of possible responses.

Children won't report these incidents unless there are things to be done to stop the harm -- and the adults they report to are going to be proactive in helping them. An adult should offer them all of the ways they can respond, from telling them to stop, to calling the police.

[Children] need to know we can help bully-proof [them] online. We teach kids specific skills, like never post materials a bully can use against you. Don't give the bully recognition. Never respond in an emotional manner. If you choose to respond, make it a strong assertive statement. Kids engage in role-playing on the Internet. If we can encourage them to role-play a stronger person, it gives them a raised online social power. So there are actual ways that targets can become more powerful online than in person.


>> DO SOMETHING


Talk to Kids About Cyberbullying. (http://www.tolerance.org/parents/kidsarticle.jsp?&ar=46)