NAP- Neighborhood Alliance of Pawtucket

RI Humor etc

RI Memories

YOU GREW UP OR LIVED IN RHODE ISLAND SINCE THE 1960'S (or even earlier) IF ..
You Know You're From Rhode Island When...

You celebrate "birt-day"

If your oldah brodah is a retad.

If you had a "wickit" good time at the beach.

When you hear an amazing fact your immidiate reply is "no suh!"

You know the difference between red, white and clear chowdah

You consider a car journey of longer than one hour a day trip.

You can you curse in Italian.

You know what the __expression "side by each" means.

You have used the __expression "Not For Nuthin" or "bubbla".

You serve bread with every meal.

You load up on milk and bread before a snowstorm.

You have pulled out of a sidestreet and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you could make a left-hand turn.

You consider your holiday season incomplete without a trip to Lasalette Shrine.

You have a bottle of coffee syrup in the fridge right now.

You've gotten sick from eating too many clam cakes.

You own at least one coffee table book with a picture of a lighthouse on it.

You've boasted about the money you saved at the Christmas Tree Shop.

Your first live concert was at The Civic Center or Rocky Point.

You own a hat with a red "P" on it.

You were born at Lying-In Hospital.

You still call the Rhode Island Mall the Midland Mall.

You've gone to "Legs and Eggs".

You have used a demolished landmark when giving directions.

You secretly watch "Providence" even though you tell your friends you don't.

You have slammed on your breaks to discourage a tailgater.

You know what a burger "The Newport Creamery Way" is.

You have dated a girl named Brenda or a guy named Vinnie.

You have used the breakdown lane on 95 to pass someone.

You've personally met Vinnie Paz.

Your idea of a dream house is a raised ranch.

You've asked your mechanic for an inspection sticker even though your car failed to pass.

You have a degree from RIC, CCRI or URI.

You've been to Twin Oaks for your birthday.

You know how to pronounce Pawtucket, Cowesett, Usqepaug, and Narragansett.

You know where "The Pier" is located.

You can recognize a Cranston accent.

You think high hair, gold chains, and gum go together.

You drop the "w" in Greenwich, Kingstown, and Warwick.

You use the __expression "down-city" for downtown.

You've eaten at Haven Brothers.

You celebrate St. Joseph's Day and know what a "zeppolla" is.

You have at least one gallon of Newport Creamery coffee ice cream in your freezer.

You know what "ProJo" stands for.

You always start giving directions by saying, "Well, you get on 95"

You know where "NiRoPe" comes from.

You refer to the movies as the Show.

You know what a "package store" is.

Your favorite expressions are, "Are you serious?", "Wicked", and "You know what I'm saying?"

You know you need "quahogs" to make "stuffies".

You think banana, vanilla, and idea all end in "r".

You put vinegar on your french fries.

You know what Allie's makes.

You know that there is never any school in Fosta-Glosta when it snows.

The girl you ended up marrying lived no more than 6 blocks from where you grew up.

You've converted the basement of your house into an apartment.

You call spaghetti sauce, "gravy."

You tell friends that something is "on special", instead of on sale.

The meal at every wedding you've ever attended was chicken, shells and french fries.

You put celery salt on your hot dogs.

You order an iced coffee in December.

You know exactly which parts of Dumb and Dumber, There's Something About Mary, Meet Joe Black and Amistad were filmed in RI, and you can tell someone exactly where that is.

You know what the Coffee Cup Salute is, and who does it every morning.

You and everyone you know are either Italian or Irish, or both.
You've never been farther south than Jersey, and not farther West than there, either, but are planning to move to Florida as soon as you turn 60.

You know the "hill".......



... you remember when Art Lake and Salty Brine had dark hair.
... you cried when Salty Brine's collie, Jeff, died.
... you remember Sara Wye, Franz Laubert, and Jay Kroll.
... You remember Jack Comley and Dick Pace.
... you remember the Outlet Company at Christmastime: Toyland in the basement and the Christmas windows.
... you smile wistfully when you think of the names, Shepards, Woolworths, Grants, Peerless, Gladdings and City Hall Hardware.
... you remember when Kmart was still Kresge's.
... you once ate at the Ming Garden or the Waldorf Cafeteria.
... you remember when it was the Sheraton Biltmore.
... you were assured by classmates that the Industrial National Bank building was the same one as in the opening of the Superman TV series.
... you remember when they used to show all the Disney films at the Majestic Theater.
... you remmeber the RKO Albee, the Loew's State, and the Strand.
... your mom wouldn't let you go near the Strand.
... you remember that neat paperback bookstore cattycorner from the Outlet having so many books and rock posters that the cashier had to sit up in a little booth.
... being bussed to the Rhode Island Philharmonic once a year for a special concert for school children.
... you remember when that big pyramid that became Apex went up in Pawtucket.
... you remember when WPRI was WPRO.
... you remember neighborhood bakeries and all the great pastries they carried: lemon squares, New Yorkers, comets, zeppoles, and sfogliatelles.
... you know what a hermit is.
... you remember when Garden City was just about the only shopping center out in that direction.
... you remember when Garden City was just about the only thing out there besides farms and houses and how at Christmastime when they put up their light display you could drive to the top of Laurel Hill Avenue and see it shining like a beacon in the distance.
... heck, you remember the coal tipple that used to be on the north side of Sakonasset Road at what's now the "back end" of Garden City.
... You remember Child World.
... your parents would threaten to "send you to Sakonasset" when you were particularly bad.
... your mother would say, when you made her crazy, "You're going to drive me to Howard!".
... you remember Reservoir Avenue when it was only two lanes.
... you remember going north to Massachusetts before there was an interstate.
... you have fond memories of Rocky Point, Crescent Park, and Jolly Cholly's.
... you remember when Rhode Island Mall was Midland Mall.
... heck, you even remember when Garden City was a coal mine or at least when RI-Midland Mall opened.
... you remember the junkyard that used to be where Warwick Mall is now.
... you used to love the Cranston Drive-In.
... you wondered if they gave out free samples at the Eclipse syrup plant.
... you remember free parking at the beach.
... your mom grocery shopped at Almacs, Stop & Shop, Finast, or the A & P.
... heck, when your mom shopped at the neighborhood supermarket like Food Town, you remember Warwick Shopper's World, Niantic Mills and the Ben Franklin Store.
... your parents still refer to Warwick Shopper's World and Ann & Hope as "mill outlets" and going to one of these stores was "going to the mill".
... your parents still referred to the airport as "Hillsgrove".
... you remember when the section of Cranston at the intersection of Park Avenue and Gansett Avenue was called "The Speedway".
... you know what a "superette" and a "spa" were (and the latter had nothing to do with health clubs).
... you remember when Bald Hill Road was almost all farms.
... you remember the downtown Newport waterfront before they remodeled it.
... you remember when there wasn't McDonald's in Rhode Island.
... you remember Burger Chef and Jeff.
... you bought a small Del's Lemonade for only a dime, Hershey bars for 10 cents, popsicles a nickel, and penny candy for a penny!
... you remember going to Stamp's Farm for eggs and Highland Orchards for apples.
... you passed the Narragansett Brewery on your way downtown, and people were working there.
... one of the big landmarks on Post Road was the Scholes roller rink.
... every time a hurricane was forcast your mom and dad or grandparents would immediately talk about the hurricane of '38.
... heck, they'd take you downtown to show you the high-water plaque on the Providence Journal building.
... you remember Trifari and Coro being two of the biggest employers in town.
... instead of getting your chickens from the supermarket, your mom or dad went to the chicken man in Silver Lake.
... your parents took you to the Slater Zoo.
... you remember Bosco and Maypo.
... you remember the old Calart's Christmas display.
... you remember the big rivalry between Old Stone Bank and Citizens Bank.
... The moment you drove out of Rhode Island, no one had coffee milk or coffee ice cream any longer.
... you still have nightmares about "choo-Choo" on the Railroad Salvage commercials.
... the Ragman coming around yelling "Raaaaaags" asking for old rags from the community.
... heck, you remember if you got out of hand, your mother would tell you that the Ragman was coming to get you!
... the Ice Cream Man coming everyday during the summer and we'd wait for him knowing about the time he'd arrive in our area. As soon as we'd see him, we'd raise our hand for him to stop! Fudgesicles and popsicles = 5 cents, ice cream sandwiches, creamsicles and drumstix = 10 cents.

AHHHHHHHHH MEMORIES!!!

IQ Weight/Testing and 50 year Memories-Old and New?

Two tourists were driving through RI. As they were approaching the town of Pawcatuck, Ct., they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist finally asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are ...
...but very slowly?"

The girl leaned over the counter and said, very slowly....
"Burrrrrrrr -gerrrrrrr, kinnnnngggg."

............................
We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't
hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it


One-question IQ Test

A mute who wants to buy a toothbrush goes into a store. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he
successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

Now if there is a man with visual impairments who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

Think about it first, carefully. The answer is below.

~HAVE YOUR ANSWER?


One-question IQ Test answer

He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."

You didn't get this wrong, did you ?
..........
My 50 plus friend Nel and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to ascess the popular "Ask Jeeves" site and then the ri.gov site, and we told her it could answer any question she had in the US or RI.

Nell's mother was very skeptical until Nell said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it."

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
...................
Never argue with an idiot.
They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
...............
Fifty years ago......

This little poem tells it pretty much like it was 50 years
ago in RI and across the USA.

A little house with two bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push, to make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall, we only had one phone,
And no need for recording things -- someone was always home.


We only had a living room, where we would congregate,
Unless it was at meal time, in the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family, those two rooms would work out fine.


We only had one TV set and channels -- maybe two,
But always there was one of them, with something worth the view.
For snacks we had potato chips, that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor, you made Lipton's onion dip.


Store bought snacks were rare, because my mother liked to cook,
And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crocker's book.
The snacks were even healthy - with the best ingredients,
There was no label, with a hundred things that made no sense


Weekends were for family trips, or staying home to play,
We all did things together, even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips, depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because, we liked to be together.


Sometimes we would separate, to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were, without our own cell phone.
Then there was the movies, with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching, movies in your car.


Then there were the picnics, at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees -- and never need a reason.
Get a baseball game together, with the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -- and no game video.


Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance -- or a lawyer to defend
The way that he took care of you, or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath, and strived to do the best for you.


Remember when the country, was united under God,
And prayer in schools and public places, was not deemed as odd
Remember when the church was used for, worshipping The Lord,
And not used for commercial use, or for some business board.


Remember going to the store -- and shopping casually,
And when you went to pay for it, you used your own money?
Nothing that you had to swipe or -- punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person, had to really count?


Remember when we breathed the air, it smelled so fresh and
clean,
And chemicals were not used on the grass, to keep it green.
The milkman and the bread man used to go from door to door,
And it was just a few cents more, than going to the store.


There was a time when mailed letters, came right to your door,
Without a lot of junk mail ads, sent out by every store.
The mailman knew each house, by name and knew where it was sent,
There was not loads of mail addressed to: "Present Occupant".


Remember when the words "I do" meant, that you really did?
And not just temporally, till someone blows their lid.
There was nothing as "no one's fault;" we just made a mistake,
There was a time when married life, was built on give and take.


There was a time when just one glance, was all that it would take,
And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make.
They didn't look like turtles, trying to squeeze every mile,
They were streamlined, white walls and fins -- and really had
some style.


One time the music that you played, whenever you would jive,
Was from a vinyl, big holed record called a forty-five.
The record player had a post, to keep them all in line,
And then the records would drop down, and play one at a time.


O sure we had our problems then -- just like we do today,
And always we were striving -- trying for a better way
And every year that passed us by, brought new and greater
things,
We now can even program phones, with music or with rings.


Oh the simple life we lived, still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game -- just kick the can and run?
And why would boys put baseball cards, between bicycle spokes?
And for a nickel, red machines had little bottled cokes


This life seemed so much easier -- and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.
So time moves on and so do we - and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce, and walk down memory lane.

7 Items of Sillies- Winter Retreat?

1. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

4. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

6. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

7. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

................
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days (Of course, we know God is never missing, but this is a story).. Eventually, Michael, the Archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look, Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth, "For example, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while Africa is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered with ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass with oceans as it borders and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "that's Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, lakes, and climate. The people from Florida are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high achieving people, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance! Everyone and everything seems so totally perfect in this place you call Florida!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm sending down from RI every winter!"

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