Northern Hills Homeowner's Association

Aviation Stories

Aug 29, 2000

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
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Cessna: "Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."
Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide! Do you have the airfield in sight!"
Cessna: "Uh...tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is."
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A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Boston?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.
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A man walks up to the counter at the airport. "Can I help you?" asks the
agent.
"I want a round trip ticket," says the man.
"Where to?" asks the agent.
"Right back to here."
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A passenger piled his cases on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the clerk, "I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the
square case to go to Denver and the two round ones to go to Seattle." "I'm sorry, sir, but we can't do that."
"Why not? You did it last time!"

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"Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
"But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"