Aquila Neighborhood Association

Are you having a conflict? (get better results-6 easy steps)...

STEPS TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT

1. Think of a constructive way to deal with the situation before you speak.

2. Both people need to agree to the ground rules:

 Not interrupting
 No name calling or put downs
 Speak for yourself, not the other person

3. First person tells her/his view of the situation, using I-messages.

4. Second person restates what the problem is for the first person. (Steps 3 and 4 are repeated with the second person telling his/her view, and the first person restating.)

5. Both people suggest and list possible solutions.

6. Both people agree on a resolution by choosing from the list in step #5.

AN "I" MESSAGE HAS FOUR PARTS:

"I feel…………." (state the feeling)

"when you……." (describe the other person's behavior)

"because………" (describe the results of the other person's behavior)

"I want……….." (state what would correct the situation for you)

WAYS TO ACTIVELY LISTEN:

1. Clarify - get more information, ask questions.

2. Restate - say in your own words what you heard the other person say, including their feelings.

3. Encourage - use neutral, non-threatening words to help the other person say more about the situation and how they feel.

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