Conversation Cafe

Conversation Cafe
Building community by sharing from the mind and heart with others

A gathering on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month to dialogue on important issues of our time?…
7 p.m.- 8:30 p.m. upstairs at the City Caf?© in the Mid City Mall, next to Baxter Theaters

Open your mind:? listen with respect to all points of view
Open your heart: suspend judgment as best you can? 
Get curious: aim to understand rather than persuade
Go for discovery: let? go of? assumptions, let I n insights
Get real: tell your personal stories, not just your opinions
Be brief: speak with honesty and depth without going on and on
Be free: no decisions, no committees. Enjoy!

John Luke Hartmann
Email: johart@bellsouth.net
1507 East Breckinridge Street
Louisville KY 40204-1709
Home: 502-560-0085
Office: 502-472-3115

Conversation Cafe

What dialogue is not

What dialogue is not

Copyright ?¿½ 1991 by David Bohm, Donald Factor and Peter Garrett

The copyright holders hereby give permission to copy this material and to distribute it to others for non-commercial purposes including discussion, inquiry, criticism and as an aid to setting up Dialogue groups so long as the material is not altered and this notice is included. All other rights are reserved.

Dialogue is not discussion, a word that shares its root meaning with ''percussion'' and ''concussion,'' both of which involve breaking things up. Nor is it debate. These forms of conversation contain an implicit tendency to point toward a goal, to hammer out an agreement, to try to solve a problem or have one's opinion prevail. It is also not a ''salon'', which is a kind of gathering that is both informal and most often characterized by an intention to entertain, exchange friendship, gossip and other information. Although the word ''dialogue'' has often been used in similar ways, its deeper, root meaning implies that it is not primarily interested in any of this.

Dialogue resembles a number of other forms of group activity and may at times include aspects of them but in fact it is something new to our culture. We believe that it is an activity that might well prove vital to the future health of our civilization.

More about Dialogue

Guidelines for Open Dialogue

The more all participants are aware of the nature of dialogue and committed to bringing it about, the better the chance it will happen. Towards that end, the following comparison of dialogue and debate offers one of the most useful summaries of dialogue that we've seen. (It was adapted by the Study Circle Resource Center from a paper prepared by Shelley Berman, which in turn was based on discussions of the Dialogue Group of the Boston Chapter of Educators for Social Responsibility.)

Even on first reading, it can change one's perspective. The specifics, however, can be hard to keep in mind. So the more often people read (and discuss) the list, the more effective it will be.

Dialogue is collaborative: two or more sides work together toward common understanding. Debate is oppositional: two sides oppose each other and attempt to prove each other wrong.

In dialogue, finding common ground is the goal. In debate, winning is the goal.

In dialogue, one listens to the other side(s) in order to understand, find meaning, and find agreement. In debate, one listens to the other side in order to find flaws and to counter its arguments.

Dialogue enlarges and possibly changes a participant's point of view. Debate affirms a participant's own point of view.

Dialogue reveals assumptions for reevaluation. Debate defends assumptions as truth.

Dialogue causes introspection on one's own position. Debate causes critique of the other position.

Dialogue opens the possibility of reaching a better solution than any of the original solutions. Debate defends one's own positions as the best solution and excludes other solutions.

Dialogue creates an open-minded attitude: an openness to being wrong and an openness to change. Debate creates a closed-minded attitude, a determination to be right.

In dialogue, one submits one's best thinking, knowing that other people's reflections will help improve it rather than destroy it. In debate, one submits one's best thinking and defends it against challenge to show that it is right.

Dialogue calls for temporarily suspending one's beliefs. Debate calls for investing wholeheartedly in one's beliefs.

In dialogue, one searches for basic agreements. In debate, one searches for glaring differences.

In dialogue, one searches for strengths in the other positions. In debate, one searches for flaws and weaknesses in the other positions.

Dialogue involves a real concern for the other person and seeks to not alienate or offend. Debate involves a countering of the other position without focusing on feelings or relationship and often belittles or deprecates the other person.

Dialogue assumes that many people have pieces of the answer and that together they can put them into a workable solution. Debate assumes that there is a right answer and that someone has it.

Dialogue remains open-ended. Debate implies a conclusion.


Conversation Cafes thrive on diversity. All are invited to join in respectful dialogue. Conversations are held on Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. and normally go to 8:30 p.m. at the City Cafe located off Bardstown Road in the Mid-City Mall next to the Baxter Avenue Theaters. They are free and open to everyone but please respect the business owner by making a purchase--coffee, tea, deserts, sandwiches, dinners, and more are available!

Even more on dialogue

DIALOGUE
by Anthony Judge, c/o UIA, 40 rue Washington, B-1050, Brussels, Belgium. Web site:
http://www.duversity.org/ideas/dialog.html

Dialogue is people talking together. The important thing is that the people agree to do just that and nothing else. They are not concerned with winning arguments, coming to conclusions, solving problems, resolving conflicts, achieving consensus - or anything else other than talking. This gives them an opportunity to delve into talking and what it does.

Talking plays a big role in creating and sustaining human culture. Culture is built out of the words, metaphors, points of view, ideas, beliefs, etc. that people exchange. This is true in any kind of meeting, whatever its purpose. The process of talking underlies the business meeting as well as idle conversations in the pub. It is shared by men and women, by young and old, by people from the east and from the west.

Talking deliberately, yet without any explicit purpose, is at first felt as strange. But, most people rapidly adjust; after all, talking is a natural human activity. It helps us to find meaning. However we talk, we are immersed in meaning, even if we have no apparent purpose.

There is a meaning which comes into effect as we talk and does not have to be 'thought-up' before we talk to guide us (having an agenda and chairperson, etc.). So, the meaning that is emerging as we talk can guide the way we talk.[1] This was the idea of David Bohm, who did so much to spread the way of dialogue. He said that the very word 'dialogue' means 'to go through meaning': dia - 'through' and logos - 'meaning'. Dialogue is then the 'way' of meaning, the Tao of the logos! It is an art and skill that allows the natural process to unfold. Just as people used to consider the nature of a forest or jungle as wild, untamed, irrational so do many people today regard the process of dialogue as anarchic, chaotic and unproductive.

To practice dialogue, to take the way of meaning, is a conscious work. It requires whatever alertness, sensitivity, maturity, love and intelligence we can muster. But, whatever the degree of our experience, dialogue involves the unknown. The dialogue process challenges itself. [2]